Bigman

* Before you read this I realize it isn’t great, but it was my first and hopefully I will get better in time, even if I never get a chance to join/start a band and get to add music.

I know you hear my screams of pain
That I hope aren’t only cries in vain
Yet you keep me in these iron chains
Searching for that one way out.

My thoughts now filled with incessant dread
Can’t even find comfort in my head
And now all you say just fades away into
Your abyss of lies, and watching as the truth subsides
All including daylight dies.

I can’t tell if this is real
I can’t see
can’t hear
Can’t even feel
I’ve lost control
And still you show
No sign of my release
The more I try
The more of me dies
As I slowly slip away.

If I’m freed you had better believe
That my day shall come
I’ll have that which I deserve
In the form of justice, I will serve
And you will find that the old has died
the blood has dried and all feelings gone away
Now no remorse and until you are scorn
Like you once did to me.

You’ll wish for hell as I fan the flames
Forget your hopes, forget your dreams
As I tear you at your seams
You’ll come apart just like me.
I will find joy as I destroy what’s left of you

You played me like I was a game and now look at what you’ve done
You made a bet playing karma’s Russian Roulette
You dodged my bullet once before but now your time has come
So close your eyes and smile wide it’s time to take a bite
It’s time for me to take my shot and for you to take what you have got
So bite the bullet and fan the flames because you only have yourself to blame
And you’ll suffer for what you’ve done until the end of time.

Music

            In my life there are plenty of important aspects, but one has played a huge role and has helped me grow closer to my family, introduced me to some of the most important and interesting people in my life, as well as helping me through difficult times or just boring ones. I am talking about music. Without it I can say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today, not only because of what I listen to, but the people I have met because of it and how it has brought me closer to my family due to their support. My family has always been supportive of my music even in the beginning when what was supposed to be music sounded like someone trying to strangle some type of small animal.

            One of the biggest things I owe to my music is bringing me to STA and joining the band where I have met plenty of the weirdest and closest of my friends who have now become like a second family. Along with that, I was immersed even deeper when concert band came around freshman year and, the Low Woodwinds were born. What sounded like a group of corny super heroes became a close section and even better friends. This group has had plenty of roster changes including the loss of our original leader, Eric Harms, who helped shape my sense of humor and also has been one of my role models since the day I met him. After his untimely passing sophomore year and the passing of my grandfather who was a huge supporter of my interest in music, I turned to music for comfort and for help because like Bob Marley said one good thing about music is that once it hits you, you feel no pain. On a brighter note thanks to my music over the past three years now at St. Thomas I have had some of the most interesting experiences and knowing the band there are many more to come, Although this is my last year with all of these people who have made the past three years so amazing.

            One of my fondest memories was getting to go to New Orleans with the band. The trip was amazing from the bus ride down and back with facilitated fun having a bunch of teenagers moving around trying to get to know each other along with trying to balance going from seat to seat while the bus is moving at highway speed. In New Orleans we had a lot of memorable moments, for example picture seven or so guys running down the streets of New Orleans with pizza boxes in their hands and attempting to eat as they ran, in a mad dash trying to get back to spot where we were supposed to be performing. They were followed by me, slow and out of breath but without a pizza box, still trying to keep up so we didn‘t get in trouble.

            In addition to playing music I also enjoy listening to almost any genre from some classical and the little bits of jazz and swing that can be heard in the morning while the jazz band is practicing, too the more modern rock and heavy metal along with plenty of others in between. 

            In the end, I am glad I have been so influenced by music because it has lead to some of the best moments in my life, helped me get through some tough times, and has helped me meet some of the most important people in my life. In addition, it is also just a good way to kill time. I can say that much of who I am has come from the types of music I listen too. Kurt Cobain once said that is what music is: the more you put yourself into it, the more of you comes out in it.